Art Project
You will need:
a golf ball
red paint
super glue
a sense of humor
Step 1
Apply red paint to the golfball. It is important to cover the entire surface of the ball. The effect will not work if the ball is white.
Step 2
Liberally apply super glue to one side of the ball. Make sure that you're ready to move onto step 3 immediately.
Step 3
Stick the golf ball directly to your right nostril. You don't want to stick it too low, as it will hang off. This is not the desired effect. You want the ball somewhere in the middle of your nose.
This is what I look like, right now. I don't know where it came from, but I currently have the biggest zit I've ever seen on the right side of my face. Here we are at day three and it has shown no signs of retreating back from whence it came, despite my numerous efforts to thwart its assault on my confidence and the ability of others to take me even remotely seriously.
It's interesting the way this thing has taken over my subconscious. Hell, it's taken over my conscious. I make sure to walk on the right side of beautiful women, ignoring the temptation to look and face them straight ahead. At the library, my right side faces the window, in the interest of the quiet, peaceful Hauser atmosphere. If anyone were to walk by and notice the pimple that has nearly devoured my entire nose, they would no doubt scream and alert the entire Reed campus to the existence this gross deformity.
Of course, I exaggerate. It's maybe as big as a pea, rosy as a pair of lips and only slightly uncomfortable. But my mind knows no exaggeration. Confidence feels the effects of the worst possible scenario, and this is one of those for a young man who has coasted through his entire life. Until this deformity on my nose disappears into the sunset, I can't help but take every precaution to ensure that it doesn't absolutely destroy me. Dramatic, I know... but false? I think not.
...or I could just squeeze the fun out of it...
a golf ball
red paint
super glue
a sense of humor
Step 1
Apply red paint to the golfball. It is important to cover the entire surface of the ball. The effect will not work if the ball is white.
Step 2
Liberally apply super glue to one side of the ball. Make sure that you're ready to move onto step 3 immediately.
Step 3
Stick the golf ball directly to your right nostril. You don't want to stick it too low, as it will hang off. This is not the desired effect. You want the ball somewhere in the middle of your nose.
This is what I look like, right now. I don't know where it came from, but I currently have the biggest zit I've ever seen on the right side of my face. Here we are at day three and it has shown no signs of retreating back from whence it came, despite my numerous efforts to thwart its assault on my confidence and the ability of others to take me even remotely seriously.
It's interesting the way this thing has taken over my subconscious. Hell, it's taken over my conscious. I make sure to walk on the right side of beautiful women, ignoring the temptation to look and face them straight ahead. At the library, my right side faces the window, in the interest of the quiet, peaceful Hauser atmosphere. If anyone were to walk by and notice the pimple that has nearly devoured my entire nose, they would no doubt scream and alert the entire Reed campus to the existence this gross deformity.
Of course, I exaggerate. It's maybe as big as a pea, rosy as a pair of lips and only slightly uncomfortable. But my mind knows no exaggeration. Confidence feels the effects of the worst possible scenario, and this is one of those for a young man who has coasted through his entire life. Until this deformity on my nose disappears into the sunset, I can't help but take every precaution to ensure that it doesn't absolutely destroy me. Dramatic, I know... but false? I think not.
...or I could just squeeze the fun out of it...
posted by Fish at 12:19 PM
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